Super Cliche Naruto
by Parody No Jutsu
Summary: Co-written by Inuyonas. This story explores all that is cliche on Naruto stories and the actual Naruto series itself. If you feel like laughing then this story is for you. Rated M for horribly written lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**AN- BIG STUFF HAPPENING HERE.**

**WE HAVE THE FAMED PARODY NO JUTSU WHOSE A GREAT AUTHOR AND ONE OF THE BEST HUMOR WRITERS**

**PLUS!**

**THE INFAMOUS INUYONAS TEAMING UP ON ONE STORY FOR AN EPIC COLLAB!**

**BE SURE TO CHECK OUT INUYONAS'S STORIES TOO!**

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><p>The village was in chaos with the moon being another witness to the destruction of one of the most powerful villages of the world.<p>

A giant fox with nine swooping tails destroyed buildings and lives with its giant clawed paws. It roared as, with a sweep of his tails, the area behind him was left in rubble.

Minato Namikaze, Yondaime of the Leaf Village watched from a safe spot as the fox destroyed everything on its path. Next to him was the Third Hokage, a pipe on his mouth and his eyes not meeting Minato's.

He thought it strange but didn't voice it, instead he turned to the wise old man for advice.

"What do we do?" Minato asked the famed 'god of shinobi.'

The older man looked away once more, "Um… you could like, fight it."

"Fight the most powerful demon one on one?" he asked incredulously.

Hiruzen Sarutobi let out a cloud of smoke from his mouth before pointing at the village, "That is what you must protect. It is your son's legacy and now his home. Do what you must but, as Hokage, you have to stop the Kyuubi."

Minato looked at the rampaging demon fox as renowned determination filled his eyes. "You're right. Looks like I'll have to seal the Kyuubi away," his expression turned grim as he cast one last look at the wise man that looked out for everyone, "Good-bye Third Hokage."

Hiruzen said nothing as Minato left in a yellow flash.

The elderly man's shoulders slumped before he let out a sigh of relief, slapping a hand to his forehead and letting out a chuckle. Looked like he had worried over nothing.

"Damn, good thing he didn't remember that I could have just sealed the Kyuubi away at the cost of my own life," he muttered to himself.

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><p>Minato appeared before the baby Naruto, disregarding his mother of course, before taking him in his arms and leaving in a yellow flash once more and appearing before the giant demon fox.<p>

He made the hand seals the Third Hokage had taught him and…

"Oh fuck…"

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><p><strong>Super Cliché Naruto<strong>

**Chapter One**

"**And that is all you need to know about your heritage," **the Kyuubi smirked before glancing down and seeing his host had fallen asleep. He roared in rage, waking the five-year-old, before speaking once more, **"How long have you been asleep? Have I been talking to myself this whole time?"**

"Wha! A talking fox!"

The Kyuubi tried to calm itself down before a sudden pain struck his stomach and he let out a groan of pain, _**'Oh fuck! Damned tacos…"**_

The young Naruto trembled in fear as the Kyuubi roared at him, its eyes red and the smell of evil filling the area (though it oddly smelled like beans).

Tears filled his eyes before he burst out crying in pure fear.

Kyuubi squinted his eyes and the kid continued to cry. _'__**Fuck now I did it,' **_he closed his eyes before ending his link with Naruto and letting him wake up, **"I'll just wait for him to get older."**

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><p>The world around Naruto turned bright as his eyes opened to reveal his room. It was full of trash, rats and graffiti with things like, 'Diez Deimon!' and 'Stoopid Phox!'<p>

Yes, the people of Konoha were really retarded. Though it didn't come as a shock since most people would have figured out that there was only one other person with Naruto's hair color.

So, the young boy pulled himself out of bed, a few newspapers on the ground for a more dramatic effect. He picked out his clothes, dirty and torn since everybody hated him and it wasn't possible for the most influential person in the village to get him anything, before finally leaving his apartment.

He got the usual glares as he walked, a few people kicking him in the ass when he got close enough. Naruto, being just a kid didn't know what was going on, why did everybody treat him like this?

A man watched the blond walk by before glancing at the clock, 9:32. Fuck! He was late.

"Hey everyone!" he called over to a group of bystanders who turned to look at him in confusion, "It's 9:32! Demon brat fox that we hate chasing time!"

Realization washed over their faces before they pulled out several angry mob objects, some even pulling out kunai since they were ninja which made things even more dramatic.

Naruto's eyes widened in alarm before he bolted out of there, moving through stands, people, and even animals. His little legs could only get him so far before he tripped and fell on the ground, finding himself in an alley with a dead end… which was even more dramatic.

"Why would you do this to a defenseless child?" Naruto asked as tears gathered on his bright blue eyes. "Have you gone mad? To do this because of fear and misplaced anger! Please look within you to find the truth."

The crowd looked down in shame. The badly portrayed five-year-old was right, they were being too harsh on him.

A civilian looked around in shock before pointing at Naruto, "It might have been wrong but he's still badly portrayed. What kind of five-year-old talks like that?"

"You're right! Get him!"

And so the crowd began to beat the young five-year-old, stressing the age so that it can be more dramatic.

Once the beating ended Naruto staggered to his feet, using a wall to hold himself up. His wounds had already began to heal but it didn't mean that he wasn't in pain since it would be more dramatic that way.

'_**Naruto I can help.'**_

"Oh no now I have a voice in my head! Now I'm schizophrenic!"

_'__**How in the world does a five year old what schizophrenia is? Could you be portrayed any more badly?'**_

"I'm going crazy!" he whined with a roll of his eyes, "Is there no end to this pointless drama I didn't really go through but people seem to want me to."

'_**No! Now let me train you!'**_

'_Well… okay! But only if you let me wear black clothes and get a fox tattoo in a sexy spot.'_

'_**Humph! I'm already on it.'**_

Naruto rose a brow in confusion before feeling a pain on his right shoulder. He winced before looking at it to see a sweet red tattoo of a fox.

The tattoo was the face of a fox in a red color. It had two ears and two eyes. It's whiskers were a black color as was its snout. Behind the face of the fox were two smaller tattoos of crossed sword and, that's right, I just spent a whole paragraph describing a tattoo.

"I can tell this is going to make me smexy in the future!" Naruto cheered.

_**'Since when is there an 'm' in sexy? I can understand a five year old making a grammatical error in another word but 'sexy?' Really?'**_

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><p>Our story continues in the village with Naruto running and laughing manically.<p>

Why is he running you ask?

Well he is running away from a group of Chuunin, trained adults in the art of killing and the equivalent of a mid-level ninja.

Why is he laughing you ask?

Because he just pulled the ultimate prank. He painted the Hokage monument with obscene and crude markings. Something that would piss of the man.

The Hokage monument is the name given to the mountain of the Leaf Village since the faces of past kages, term given to the leader of a village, had been carved into it. So far it had four faces but it would change with time.

"Naruto! Get back here!"

"Never!" Naruto screamed.

_**'I can't believe these ninja call themselves chuunin. They can't even catch up with you, a blonde preteen whose legs are no longer than a penguin's." **_

'_Whoa, what's up with that insult Kyuubi-chan-kun?"_

_**'I hate your nick names.'**_

While Naruto and the Kyuubi had a mental debate, the chuunin continued to follow.

"How come we, a group of seasons mid-level ninja, are unable to catch a twelve-year-old academy student who, not only wears a glaring orange but failed the genin exams twice? Hell, he'll probably fail a third time soon," one of the chuunin asked incredulously.

"...If you have the energy to ask dumb questions then you have enough energy to go faster!" Another chuunin scolded.

The group continued to run.

Little did they know they had just passed their target. Who had camouflaged himself on a wall while the chuunin had been complaining.

"Suckers!" Naruto said dropping his camouflage ...thing.

_**'Naruto that Iruka guy is next to you.'**_

Said preteen ignored the voice as he watched the disappearing group of ninja, "Makes me wonder how they got to be chuunin if they can't even catch me…"

"Me too…"

Naruto yelped in surprise before turning his head at the new voice.

"Iruka-sensei!"

_**'I swear I just told you that.'**_

"Naruto...WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING!" Iruka screamed.

"I snuck out of class."

"How in the world did a blonde haired, orange jumpsuit wearing, blue eyed kid with whisker marks make it past I, a seasoned chuunin with a cool battle scar across my face?"

Naruto leaned closer to his teacher at the mention of his scar, "Is it really _that _cool?"

"Of course," Iruka boasted, "It gets me all the ladies but that doesn't matter right now. Tell me how you snuck past me?"

"Who knows? Maybe because I might be hiding my potential and this whole class clown thing might be fake because in truth I'm really an ANBU level ninja and it's good if your opponent underestimates you."

He shrugged before continuing, "Or I might have gone back in time due to some overused reason and I'm really a 23 year old Hokage trapped in my 12 year old body and I'm really secretly training you guys by running around doing stupid things. There's also the possibility of me training myself since I never had parents, which raises the question of who took care of me the first five years of my life."

_**'Or because of me. Kurama the friendly fox.'**_

Iruka was left dumbfounded before shaking his head to regain his composure, "Whatever. I'm taking you back to the academy. You have your test coming up."

"Hey sensei, if I failed the genin exams twice how come I'm the same age as everyone else?"

"… Naruto, there's things you just don't ask."

"How did you get that scar on your face?"

"That would be an example, yes."

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><p>"Blah blah...and since Naruto decided to skip we're all going to practice transformation jutsu." Iruka explained to the class after having dragged Naruto there.<p>

The class groaned and glared at the blonde boy.

You see, contrary to popular belief Naruto was not well liked at his school. All the students ignored him. Some even picked on him. Even teachers treated him like dirt. But Naruto still held his head high. He would be great no matter what.

As he walked to his seat he was subjugated to pathetic attempts at discreet name calling.

"***COUGH***Naruto you loser***COUGH***."

"***COUGH***Idiot***COUGH***."

"***COUGH***You suck at life***COUGH*."**

"***COUGH***I'm actually sick***COUGH*.**"

**'**_**These idiots are really starting to make me mad. Let's kill them.'**_

'_No Kurama. That will make me no better than the demon that they think I am.'_

'_**So you think you're better than me? Huh? Being like me is a fucking art and you have no paint brush!'**_

'_Seriously. What is wrong with you today?'_

The class lined up and one by one each ninja in training transformed into something.

And then it was Naruto's turn.

"Naruto you better not transform into a big breasted naked blonde girl with pig tails." Iruka asked.

_'__**'Do it anyway...with fox ears.'**_

"Transform!"

Naruto transformed into a big breasted naked blonde girl with pig tails...with fox ears.

"Who knew he wouldn't listen?" A student with pink hair said.

"Why does she have fox ears?" Asked a female blonde.

"It's actually not that bad," another student added with an appreciative eye.

"DETENTION!" Iruka screamed.

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><p>After school on the Hokage's monument we find Naruto scrubbing away the crude markings he had painted on the stone faces.<p>

Iruka watched over him, not wanting him to just bail in the middle of his cleaning.

"See Naruto? Now you have to clean up all the stupid markings instead of going home to an empty house. Doesn't that make you mad?"

"Not really. I'm always lonely so I appreciate every little bit of company I can get!" Naruto replied enthusiastically.

_**'...If only Sasuke had your attitude man...'**_

Iruka was stumped.

"Um...how bout...after this...I take you for ramen?"

"RAMEN!"

_**'OH GOD...he said the magic word.'**_

It took Naruto exactly 256.8 bowls of ramen to have him satisfied and Iruka with an empty wallet.

"Hey sensei can I try on your headband?"

"So you can steal it, kill me and claim I attacked you? Not a chance."

"..."

"..."

"..."

_**'You people make Sasuke seem happy.'**_

"Where did that come from?"

"Sorry Naruto, just one of the downsides of being a ninja. Paranoia."

Naruto furrowed his brows in confusion. "But that was really descriptive. Have you done something like that before?"

Iruka nodded once more, "That's also one of the things you don't ask."

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><p><strong>This is the end of the first chapter. I'm not sure of when the next chapter will come out but hopefully we'll get it out soon. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

AN- WE'RE BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THE MOST CLICHE'D STORY EVER CREATED!

PARODY NO JUTSU + INUYONAS = THE OPPOSITE OF PRETIMESKIP SAKURA.

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><p>"And that's how my scar gets me laid. Any questions?"<p>

The class stared at their teacher incredulously. They were currently in the midst of class with Iruka telling them several things having nothing to do with what they would be experiencing. In fact, he ended up talking about himself at the end.

"So, what you're saying is... The more damage done to us the more attractive we become to the ladies?" Kiba spoke up eagerly.

"Kiba! Use your brain for once!" Iruka scolded, "... That's exactly what I'm saying!"

"ALRIGHT! WHEN I GET HOME I'M GONNA KICK MY ASS!" Kiba cheered excitedly.

Having had enough, Naruto raised his hand with an annoyed expression on his face. "I have a questions? When the hell are we starting our test?"

Iruka chuckled. "Oh so that's what I was supposed to do! I had forgotten all about it," he went over to his desk and took a clipboard on hand, reading over the names before nodding to himself, "Alright, I'm going to be calling out your names so that we can get this test started."

'_I wonder what kind of test it'll be…' _Naruto wondered.

'_**Hmm… Considering that this is the strongest village you'll probably have to take an incredibly difficult test. Probably killing an enemy or even going through a painful and difficult test that will test your-'**_

"We're going to make harmless clones." Iruka told his class.

'_**Well fuck... No wonder I slaughtered so many of you.'**_

Iruka proceeded to call out the names of many students. Most of them being really forgettable while others like the nine people he actually knew passed with flying colors.

"Now it's your turn Naruto."

Naruto nodded before going to the front of the class. He prepared his technique before sensing something odd, he glanced to his right and noticed his other teacher, Mizuki, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

'_What is this feeling?'_

'_**It's the main plot getting closer."**_

'_What?'_

'_**Indigestion.'**_

'…'

'… _**Just fail the test. Trust me, the demon that slaughtered hundreds along with your parents.'**_

Naruto shrugged nonchalantly before making a normal clone. Since he was too powerful and sexy, his clone ended up having too much power and it ended up looking horribly tired, not to mention it didn't even have color.

"You fail Naruto," Iruka announced while giving him a disappointed look

"I failed?"

"Again!"

"Again."

"For the third time."

"Hn, Hn, Hn?"

"Me and my scar are very disappointed in you Naruto. You've failed 3 times already. That would make you 16. You are not even a genin and your 16."

Naruto frowned. "I still won't age! Fuck logic!"

"...Get your failing ass out."

Mizuki stood on the side with a smirk on his face, watching as Iruka went on to talk about how his scar got him money once but he quickly dismissed the thought, instead focusing on his incoming plan.

'_I'll simply use the Kyuubi-brat to get the scroll. Nobody will suspect him, a kid supposed to be a demon, doing anything evil.'_

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><p><strong>Super Cliché Naruto<strong>

**Chapter Two**

The sun was going down by the time Naruto made it out of the school, he wondered just what was the thing he had to watch out for was. He frowned before noticing his other instructor, Mizuki, approaching with a smile on his face.

"Hi Naruto," he greeted warmly.

A bit freaked out, Naruto nodded, "H-Hey…"

Mizuki placed a hand on the kid's shoulder before speaking, "You might have failed the test but-"

'_**Hey kit, what's up?'**_

'_Where the hell have you been all this time? Now I'm stuck talking with this guy,' _he spared a glanced at the talking form of his teacher, _'I'm pretty sure this is the kind of guy that shouldn't get near kid-friendly places.'_

**_'You're probably right... Remember to use some chakra to plug your asshole just in case he- Wait a fucking minute! What the hell did you mean by, 'where have you been,' is that some kind of joke against me being stuck in here? Hmm? Do you want me to kill you brat?'_**

'_Calm down already. Are you on your demon period or something.'_

"And that's all you need to do."

Naruto was snapped out of his internal argument by the voice of his teacher who, thankfully, finally removed his hand from his shoulder. He looked at him in confusion before remembering that he had been talking all this time.

"Could you repeat that one more time?"

Mizuki leaned closer to Naruto, eyes glaring into his as he gripped his shoulders, "I want you to steal the Scroll of Seals."

"What?" Naruto let out in disbelief.

The older ninja looked at him oddly before scolding himself for being too quick to speak, "Sorry, got a bit worked up…. _Please_ steal the Scroll of Seals."

Naruto chuckled before giving a nod, "Much better... Sure! I'll do it."

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><p>Later that night we find Naruto sitting against a tree located in the dense forest that surrounded the Leaf Village. He had many scratches on his skin and his clothes looked worn and dirty.<p>

'_Thanks for telling me to copy each technique to another scroll, that really helped Kyuubi-neko."_

'_**Fucking nicknames… but sure whatever. Go nuts with those techniques, just remember that the plot is coming."**_

'_The what?'_

'_**The um… the cunt in coming, yeah that's right. That stupid ass teacher of yours is on his way so please, for the love of me, do NOT yelp like an idiot when he-'**_

"NARUTO!"

'_Ahh!'_

'_**Kyaa!'**_

Naruto's eyes widened as he glanced at his stomach in surprise and shame. What the fuck was that yell about?

"What are you doing with that scroll?" the newly arrived Iruka asked with a deep frown on his face.

"But Mizuki told me to do it. He even said please!"

Iruka nodded, knowing that saying please was the greatest action in the world.

**TODAY'S CHAPTER IS SPONSORED BY THE MAGIC WORD, PLEASE.**

"So you're both here already."

Naruto and Iruka turned on their heels to see Mizuki standing before them with a ridiculous star-shaped object tied to his back. The two couldn't resist and began to laugh at the object, making Mizuki glare at them.

"You're laughing at my metal star. My mom got me this star!" he yelled at them angrily before composing himself, "Whatever. Naruto give me the scroll… please."

Iruka smirked, "Tough luck Mizuki, the sponsor already made its appearance. Saying 'please' after this is useless."

"Dammit," Mizuki growled before an idea struck him as he glanced at Naruto, "Hey kid, do you know why everyone here hates you?"

"No Mizuki… don't, ahh what should we do?" Iruka spoke in a bored tone before letting out a yawn.

The rogue academy teacher scowled, "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I boring you?"

"No man. Just, you know, long day."

Mizuki scowled but turned to Naruto once more, "It's because you're the holder of the Kyubi no Yoko!"

"The what?" the young academy student asked with his brows furrowed.

"The Kyubi no Yoko!"

"The who and what?"

Mizuki growled, "God fucking dammit! You have the fucking fox sealed within you!"

Naruto let out a gasp, taking a few steps back in obvious shock. _'It can't be… I have the demon within me,' _tears gathered in his eyes due to the revelation, _'Is this why everyone ignores me? Why didn't anyone tell me that-'_

'_**Seriously?'**_

'_Oh come one, I'm just playing with the drama.'_

'_**Not that but, a recycled joke from the other story. Really?'**_

Naruto, ignoring the last comment, fixed his eyes on Mizuki, watching as he took out the ridiculous star. Seriously, how the fuck did he think that would beat someone? A regular person would see the thing coming at them a mile away.

He threw the really obvious star at him, but he easily dodged by simply moving away before hearing a scream of pain. Turning to the source he found Iruka having the star stabbed into his back.

"NO! My daddy figure!" Naruto rushed over to the fallen Iruka.

"Heh Don't worry Naruto. At least now I-I have another scar...I'm gonna get so-so much pus-" He suddenly coughed up blood and fell unconscious.

Naruto shook his head with a few tears. "No, Iruka-sensei... scars on the back are the equivalent of tramp stamps. Now you'll be a whore!" He clenched his fists as his eyes snapped shut, opening them a second later to reveal the almighty Rinnegan, "You're going to pay for what you did to Iruka-sensei!"

"So what if you can change your eyes?"

The kid simply smirked as he walked closer to his soon-to-be victim. Mizuki glared before reaching behind his back and taking out another one of those stars."

"Your mom got you two?" Naruto asked.

"Hehe Yep. It was one hell of a Christmas."

"Well that's still not better than the wood I got your mother last year."

Mizuki raised his eyebrow at the statement.

"And by wood I mean my ninja penis!"

O_o

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MOMMY DEAREST THAT WAY!" He then hurled the metal star with rage enhanced strength at Naruto.

As the star closed in on the blonde, he smirked making Mizuki put on a puzzled look.

"Why the hell are you-"

His question was answered when all of a sudden the star changed directions and started spinning back torward Mizuki with even greater velocity than before.

_**SPLURCH!**_

Apparently the seasoned, battle hardened chuunin with years of experience wasn't fast enough to dodge the attack of Godlike Naruto. The ridiculous star cut through the man's abdomen until it sunk into the tree he was thrown against, intestines splattering out of his stomach due to the strength behind the throw.

Mizuki hurried and tried to pull them back in but it was all for naught. He fell to the ground, dead, a few seconds later.

_**'I give you credit for the spilling of the intestines. That was ..."gore-ious"'**_

_'Really Kurama...'_

_**'It sounded funnier in my head.'**_

"Naruto, that was great!"

Naruto turned his head torward the voice, instinctively shutting off his Rinnegan as he did so.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said as he bounded over to his daddy figure. "How are you alive Sensei?"

"The same reeason, you're not 3 years older than everyone."

"...which is..."

"Let's not dive too deep in these things. Now close your eyes I want to give you something."

Naruto quickly complied.

_**THWACK!**_

"THAT'S FOR TAKING THE SCROLL!" Iruka had just punched Naruto in the eye.

"OW!"

"Stop whining Naruto. Ninjas can take pain."

"Yeah but-" He suddenly caught on to what Iruka said. He quickly felt his forehead and felt metal touch his finger tips.

It was then he noticed the lack of headband around Iruka's forehead.

Naruto was wearing Iruka's hitai-ate.

He finally passed the test...on his fourth time.

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><p>AN-PLZ REVIEW AND CHECK OUT BOTH OF OUR OTHER STORIES!...MORE REVIEWS EQUALS FASTER UPDATES.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

**And we're back with this Parody No Jutsu and Inuyonas colab story. **

**Thanks to those of you that reviewed and did whatever else to support this story. Not much to tell you guys so just read this already. **

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><p>A day after Naruto, in a completely badass way, beat Mizuki, he found himself in school. Currently sitting in the classroom with all the other genin graduates.<p>

Shikamaru, being the observant one, noticed this, _'Naruto is here? I thought he failed…'_

"Hey, Troublesome Naruto Troublesome," he spoke, gaining the attention of the blond, "What, troublesome, are, troublesome, you doing, troublesome, here?"

"Um… I passed."

"… Troublesome."

Suddenly the door burst open, two girls breaking through with anger clear on their features. One wore a purple outfit while the other wore a red one that matched her pink hair.

"I WAS HERE FIRST SO I GET TO SIT NEXT TO THE ANTI-SOCIAL, REVENGE DRIVEN AND PROBABLY GAY EMO!" Yelled the kunoichi dressed in purple.

"NO WAY INO-PIG! I WAS HERE FIST SO I GET TO SIT NEXT TO THE ANTI-SOCIAL, REVENGE DRIVEN AND PROBABLY GAY EMO!" The pink haired kunoichi yelled back.

"YOU ARE BOTH WRONG! I WAS HERE FIRST BEFORE BOTH OF YOU SO I GET TO SIT NEXT TO THE ANTI-SOCIAL, REVENGE DRIVEN AND PROBABLY GAY EMO!" Another girl with purple hair yelled.

Sakura and Ino continued their argument as if Ami didn't exist. It was as if Ami was never important to begin with, as if she was just there to take up unnecessary space. Nobody even knows who the hell she is, there was even a rumor that her parents didn't even know she existed.

Naruto glared at the antisocial, revenge driven and probably gay emo a.k.a. Sasuke.

'_What's so great about Sasuke anyway? I mean, sure he's got the best grades in class, more jutsu, the best taijutsu and is from the Uchiha clan… I totally don't see why they like him! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, Orphan of Konoha! I might even be the son of a Hokage! Oh, and I still have the Rinnegan."_

Sasuke glared back at Naruto.

'_Look at those luscious lips… I hope the dobe doesn't plan on kissing me… I might like it.'_

Naruto scoffed before, in a single second, appearing on top of Sasuke's desk with his god-like, gained in one day, speed.

"What are you doing dobe?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked directly into his eyes, eyes narrowing in thought, "I'm trying to see if I can find out what those girls see in you, all the while trying not to fall forward and kiss you by accident."

"OH MAN! WHAT A GREAT DAY TO CONVENIENTLY LEAN BACKWARDS! I SURE HOPE NO ONE IS STANDING AND/OR CROUCHING ON THE DESK BEHIND ME SO I DON'T BUMP IN TO THEM AND CAUSE INVOLUNTARY FANSERVICE!" The guy sitting in the row in front of Sasuke announced as he leaned backwards… conveniently.

He bumped into Naruto…

Naruto was pushed forward and… kissed Sasuke.

"Gah! Tastes like razors! I should have seen that coming! I knew you were probably gay!" Naruto yelled out in disgust while clutching his throat.

"Dammit… I kinda liked it. Curse you Naruto! Now I'm going to slowly but surely befriend you thus forming a bond between us, which I'm going to sever by leaving the village to be an asshole."

"What?"

"Nothing."

The Sasuke fan girls watched the exchange in shock.

"OH MY GOD! Naruto just kissed Sasuke! Now all of a sudden I think I like Naruto even though I've never had a conversation with him and know nothing about him." Ino said.

"Yeah me too." Ami, the forgotten, said.

It was then that Iruka entered the classroom, "Naruto, if you and Sasuke are done then take your seats. I don't want my scar to witness yaoi."

"Hai sensei." Naruto responded.

"Hi Naruto," Iruka greeted with a roll of his eyes, "Go back to your seat."

"Hai."

"Yes Hi! Go back to your seat."

"Hai."

"GET BACK TO YOUR DAMNED SEAT!"

Iruka took a deep breath to control himself before beginning class, "Okay class, you are ninja now. Expect horrible and dramatic events from now on. Do NOT think you'll have a happy life, or a long one for that matter. I mean, how many retired ninja do you know, not many right? Well, guess why."

The class looked at their teacher in pure fear.

"Anyway…" Iruka continued with a smile, "You will be placed on teams of three. The Hokage and my scar came up with the drama-ensured teams that consist of two boys and one girl. Now I will call out the teams and I'll start with Team 7 because nobody knows what happened to the teams before."

Shino quirked an eyebrow, wondering if he was the only one to catch that.

"Team 7 consists of Naruto Uzumaki… Sakura Haruno."

"Happiness!"

"Sadness…"

"And… Sasuke Uchiha." Iruka finished.

"Sadness…"

"Happiness!"

"Hn."

"I won't be with Naruto-kun…" a girl, with lavender eyes spoke sadly, knowing that all she needed was to talk to Naruto in order for him to proclaim his love for her in a single second.

"Team 8 consists of Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame and Hinata Hyuuga."

"How come he paused in between the names of Team 7 but not ours?" Kiba asked but received no answer.

"Why is Naruto here if he failed yesterday?"

"What happened to the teams before Team 7?"

"Why is Naruto not three years older than us?"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Iruka shouted. "Now, since Team 9 is still in circulation we will skip it. So Team 10 consists of Ino Yamahamanaka, Chouji Akimichi and Shikamaru Nara."

"Sensei… I think you mispronounced my name," Ino complained.

Iruka shook his head, "That's going to be a running joke for about 10 chapters. Look forward to it."

"Wait," a student spoke up, "Does this mean that Team 9 is one year older than us? Shouldn't Naruto be two years older than them?"

"Now class," Iruka, ignoring the last comment, began, "You will meet your sensei after lunch, well, except Team 7."

Naruto smirked as he crossed his arms, "Thanks to how badass I am, I already know that our sensei will be observing us for around two hours even though he already knows everything about us."

"Shut up Naruto," Sakura growled.

"Aww, Sakura-chan. My irrational infatuation with you makes it so I can't see your irrational hatred for me."

Sakura ignored him and turned to Sasuke, "Hey Sasuke-kun want to have lunch wit-"

"No."

"Hey Sakura-chan-"

He was cut off as Sakura, the bitch we hate, punched Naruto in the nose, making him trip on his own feet and fall on the ground. The kunoichi took the change and began to stomp on his body while everybody else left the room, save for Sasuke who watched the scene.

Little did they know that A Certain Sharingan Kakashi was spying on the group of 12 year olds, concealed in the room they were in and watching the scene with a perverted smile.

"Dis anyone else hear a perverted giggle?" Sakura asked aloud while looking around the room.

"Sorry Sakura-chan but I think you crushed my ear drum when you stomped on me."

'_**Don't worry kit, I'll heal it unnaturally fast,' **_the Kyuubi spoke from inside Naruto's head, _**'But I thought you were too badass to be punched around by the banshee.'**_

'_Meh, I'll add her to the harem I'll surely have later on,' _Naruto shrugged as he got off the ground, _'Aren't I badass.'_

'_**That you are.'**_

* * *

><p><strong>Super Cliché Naruto<strong>

**Chapter 3**

* * *

><p>It wasn't until two hours, as the blond had guessed, that Kakashi, their sensei, finally showed up. The blond had set up an eraser to fall when the door opened, which hilariously worked!<p>

"My first impression of you is… um… what was the word? Um… oh, you're annoying."

Naruto looked at the jounin in wonder, noticing his glazed eyes and odd smell, "Are you high?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm always portrayed as… lax so, I figured, 'what the hell, I'll be a stoner to overdramatize everything.'"

"Not bad," Sasuke nodded, "But don't rape someone in order to get them to love you later on. That would be going too far."

"Anyway," Kakashi interrupted. "I'm going to be upstairs," with that the jounin left in a cloud of smoke, not slipping by Naruto's sharp eyes since he noticed that it had been a clone all along.

Sasuke growled, hands balling into fists, _'How dare he disappear in my presence. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill him.'_

"Then let's go guys," Naruto spoke as he left the room with Sakura and Sasuke trailing along.

'_How dare he tell me what to do. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill him after I kill Kakashi.'_

* * *

><p>A few moments later the newly formed Team 7 met in the rooftop of the ninja Academy. Kakashi had already been there when they had arrived, reading a book and giving them a dismissive glance.<p>

"Since we're here," Kakashi sighed, "Tell me your likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams."

"How will that help?" Naruto asked in confusion.

Kakashi sighed once more, "Just stick to the damned program." He turned to Sakura and gave her a weak nod, "Alright go."

Sasuke twitched

"I like… KYA! I CAN'T SAY IT!"

"Alright then…" Kakashi trailed off before turning to Naruto, "What about you?"

Naruto smirked. "I like being a badass and pulling pranks, even though I'll completely forget about it in a few days. My dislikes? Well, I dislike emo assholes who have everything, like a murderous brother, a cursed clan, you know, the cool stuff. My hobby is training because I train in order to be more badass. And my dream is to be the Hokage and have a large harem."

"Not bad," Kakashi eye-smiled (yes, _eye_-smiled), "What about you Sasuke?"

"Hn, I don't like anything and I hate everything. My hobby is slitting my wrists and brooding. I don't have a dream, I have a goal which is to kill a certain someone."

'_He's head is even deeper in his ass than I thought,' _Kakashi thought before closing his book. "We'll be meeting tomorrow at training grounds number seven. Be there at six in the morning and don't eat breakfast."

The jounin left after that, jumping off the building and disappearing in the distance, leaving the three genin to themselves.

'_**No breakfast? That's vague enough to mean, I'll be late two hours and be giving you a test that will use your hunger against you."**_

'_You're right,' _Naruto glanced at his teammates but said nothing, _'I won't tell them anything.'_

'_**Are they not deserving of it?'**_

'_Nah… it'll just be hilarious. While I get there with a full stomach and two hours later, the other will be feeling like shit.'_

Naruto chuckled to himself before leaving the place as well, figuring that he might as well get to his highly dramatic apartment.

* * *

><p>When Naruto made it home, he instantly noticed something was wrong. His door was kicked almost off its hinges and he could already tell there had been another dramatic raid on his apartment. Sometimes he wondered if putting his apartments location on the 'Where I live" magazine had been a bad idea…<p>

"Stupid villagers…"

'_**Grrrrrr. I hate these pathetic civilians that can't tell the difference between the container and the contained. Can I kill them just a little bit?'**_

"You can't Kurama-sensei-chan-kun. For, if we retaliate, we would be no better than them. We'd only be proving them right."

'_**God (a.k.a. me), you're mature for your age. Why the hell does everyone think you're an idiot?'**_

"Eh, who cares."

He walked into his home, passing by the broken door he would need to fix later.

"Oh great, someone painted the walls for me," he said sarcastically as he eyed the graffiti on the walls of his small apartment. They were painted sloppily and contained rude messaged like:

**NARUTO GTFO YOU DEMONIC DEMON!**

**YOU KILLED EVERYONE I LOVED, YOU SON OF A BITCH!**

**I JUST SAVED 15% OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE BUT I STILL HATE YOU DEMON!**

**YOU ARE THE REASON MY WIFE LEFT ME...FOR THE GRAVE!**

**I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON TWITTER YOU FILTH!**

**I DELETED YOU FROM MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS LIST YOU SCUM!**

**NOBODY LIKES YOU. GTFO!**

**I POISONED ALL YOUR RAMEN. ENJOY SWALLOWING DEATH :)**

Naruto blinked.

"Kurama-kun...what does 'gtfo' mean?"

Kurama sighed, his container was brilliant on everything but common sense.

* * *

><p>The following day Sasuke walked slowly to the training grounds in which Kakashi said to meet him at. Upon arriving he was met with Sakura being already there.<p>

He instantly frowned. _'That bitch! How dare she show up to the training grounds before me! I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill her after I kill Naruto and Kakashi!'_

"Hi Sasuke-kun!" Sakura greeted upon seeing her crush.

"Hn." _'Quiet down bitch. Me no likey when you open that hole on your face.'_

"SUP BITCHES!"

Sasuke and Sakura jumped apart in shock at the sound of the loud voice from directly in between them. The Uchiha quickly taking out a kunai while Sakura screamed, all the while the person between them smirked.'

"Naruto? How the hell did you get here without us noticing? And why did you change clothes?" Sakura asked while taking in Naruto's new appearance.

Naruto was currently dressed in blue cargo shorts that stopped two inches below his kness, a dark orange sleeveless hoodie with a blue short sleeved shirt underneath. He also wore orange shinobi sandals with blue bottoms, blue wrist bands with an orange stripe in the middle and his blue hitai-ate secured across his forehead. Though they couldn't see it, there was a blue imprint of a fox with 9 tails on the back of his orange sleeveless hoodie.

"Well Sakura-chan, I snuck up on you guys because I'm just badass like that. And, as far as my outfit… well I just decided to keep trying new outfits until I find one that suits me. Each one will be more ridiculous than the next though."

Sasuke rose a brow, "Hn." _'Damn… I'd say that that look suits you just fine, you sexy thing you…'_

Sakura frowned. "You're just trying to be like Sasuke-kun because he wears shorts! You'll never be as good as he is. Just face it Naruto," she spoke smugly.

'_Sakura-chan… why must you be so cruel?' _

'_**Bitch. She jus' hatin' cuz she jealous of your ninja swagga.'**_

"Well, hello my pretties."

One again Sasuke and Sakura jumped in shock while Naruto remained where he stood, smirking and crossing his arms.

Kakashi, noticing this, narrowed his eyes on the blond, _'He's as cool as the other side of the pillow… sensei what would you say?'_

"So why did you bring us here?" Naruto asked.

The Jounin snapped out of his thoughts and looked at the three Genin, "I'm going to test you today."

"Test us, but we've already taken the exam," Sakura let out in confusion.

"This is another kind of test," Kakashi pointed out with a sigh, "I mean, did you really think you were going to be a ninja for making a few harmless clones. We're the strongest village in the world, of course our tests are going to be harder than that."

Naruto's eyes lit up in excitement, "Then what are we going to do? An assassination mission? Fighting until we drop? Maybe even going on a test mission that will show us who we really are?"

"Better," Kakashi raised both hands for emphasis, making the three genin look at him in excitement, "You're going to…"

He pulled out a pair of bells and attached them to the waistline of his pants, "Grab this two bells from me."

"That's borderline indecent exposure…" Naruto muttered.

"Only the two that take each bell will pass," Kakashi went on, ignoring Naruto's last comment, and taking out two packs of lunches, "If you don't get a bell then I will tie you to a pole and have the two others eat the food in front of you. Who knows? We might just leave you there for several days."

The blond smirked, _'Being a badass, I know for a fact that I won't get suck there.'_

The Uchiha growled, _'There's no way I'll let that pole get the privilege of having me tied to it. I'm an Uchiha! An Elite! I'll kill the pole after I kill Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi!'_

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the chapter. Make sure to check out Inuyonas' other stories, I don't have any so don't bother with me. <strong>

**Well, I don't really have much to say so later. **


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